She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
