WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
