your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
