He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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