Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
