Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
