Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
