Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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