I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
