We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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