I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
