Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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