you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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