You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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