Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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