i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
