I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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