even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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