You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
