I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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