I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize