Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Success! We fucked roommates!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
