I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just found a bag of teeth...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
