I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize