one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
