Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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