Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
