That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
