this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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