I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
