it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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