After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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