apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
