OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize