Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
