Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I cut my penus on the lid.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
