She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
