My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is this like a preordered booty call?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
