the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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