FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
