i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
