he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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