we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Found the puke drawer
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
