I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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