I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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