Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
