Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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