what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
