i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
