He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
