You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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