It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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