watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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