is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
