Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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