Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
