Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
