She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You made out with two different species that night
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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