I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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