You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
