I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
