OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She told me I should be a condom model.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
