I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
