it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
