god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
