stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
