Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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