But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
