Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
