I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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